During our hibernation period in Swizzyland we intensively started learning Russian 2 prepare 4 the incredible challenges of our next trip. Well, 4 a while we had a lesson once a week 2 get some basics of this language. One evening, on the way back from our language challenge we accidentally met a guy telling us a quite interesting story about a migrant to Swizzyland – the destiny of poor Chris Doof Plocha. U may believe it or not; we at least don’t think it’s the plain truth and we can’t imagine things like that happening in beautiful Swizzyland. Anyway his story: Some 300 kilometres north of the beautiful East Siberian metropolitan centre of Nizhny Bestyakh, at the awesome shores of mighty Lena River lived Iwan Iwanowitsch Baranow with his beautiful wife Swetlana Valerinowna and their cool kid Chris Iwanowitsch. Iwan was not that kind of a fun-loving guy; he lived a rather secluded life. Instead of enjoying the sunny side of life the constant answer 2 all inquiries on his well-being were just я плоха – ja plocha (pronounced somehow as ya plokha) – I feel bad. After some time the cruel locals started calling him simply Plocha. It was easier than calling him Gospodin Baranow – which anyway just means Mr. Billy Goat. And again, Iwan felt much unhappier with his miserable life in Eastern Siberia. Finally, Iwan Iwanowitsch Plocha decided that there was no longer any future 4 him and his family in Nizhny Bestyakh. So they took the incredibly difficult decision 2 migrate, seeking a friendlier place 4 the life of their cool kid Chris. On an early day in spring they left beautiful Nizhny Bestyakh, sneeking westwards following the sun at the horizon. After having crossed huge rivers, having sneaked thru endless forests and having passed thru an indeterminable number of smaller and bigger villages, they finally arrived at the shores of a beautiful lake surrounded by incredibly high mountains. From the extremely pleasant local population they learned that the place was called Swizzyland. Iwan Iwanowisch Baranow and his family settled there. Unfortunately a guy having learned some Russian words told the locals the meaning of the name Baranow – and who the hell wants 2 b the damned billy-goat of the village. Happily Iwan Iwanowitsch remembered his former nick name Plocha. He didn’t like it, but preferred it 2 billy-goat. Also his cool kid Chris Baranow converted 2 Chris Plocha 2 avoid being called billy-goat. Well, after some time his cool kid Chris had 2 go 2 school. Not an easy undertaking for Chris Plocha. Many things he could not really understand and his learning curve remained somehow at a rather insignificant level. He understood what was happening in his locality Swizzyland, but beyond that local horizon – it remained difficult for him. Another challenge in his class: there was another Chris, a super intelligent guy. Nobody as clever as him, nobody able to hold a candle to him. And, the 2 Chris got constantly mistaken. An honor 4 the former one, a shame 4 the other one. To give this unacceptable situation an end the teachers decided to better define their respective names. One Chris became Super Chris, and the other – the Plocha one – Chris Doof. 4 all guys not 2 literate in German, doof is pronounced dohf and means somehow silly, mentally definitely not among the super stars. Later on Super Chris moved 2 New York, he became a famous lawyer earning millions of greenbacks and marrying every year the newly selected Miss Universe – just to get divorced again 4 the next 1. On the other side Chris Doof Plocha remained in his village. He started some business – he even had some success, he also became a millionaire. As all Miss’ Universe were already reserved to Super Chris, Chris Doof remained the loyal husband 2 his beloved wife – 4 him understandably a somehow boring life. This especially after his wife has given birth 2 3 wonderful kids and she didn’t want 2 take any other risk for a future pregnancy – some 46 years ago. Finally, Chris Doof found some fellow victims of similar boring life circumstances. They were organized in a movement they call Swiss Vüdli Pürger (SVP). Definitely a slightly dyslexic guy who created the name. Nevertheless Swizzies could understand it and 4 non German speaking guys there was the translation: the Swiss fuddy-puddy movement. Somehow a coalition of the good’n’brave, knowing the world is a disk and they’re in the middle of it, all slightly frustrated about the fact how narrow-minded all others citizens are. Proudly they defend their all beloved vision of stagnancy in splendid isolation. At that stage our narrator got a little confused with his story. He started 2 mix up Chris Doof’s life with some political events and their unbelievable consequences 4 the poor Swizziy tribesmen who got more’n’more influenced by migrants like Chris. Definitely we had 2 stop his story telling; who can believe things like that? It must be tales. We continued our way back home, convinced we just met a funny story-teller, definitely nothing real – but who knows?
jealousyreloaded
Monika and Martin Mayer's Trip From Lesotho to Argenitine
